Numb

Thats what I'm feeling now. I know I desperately need an outhouse, to clear my mind, to think of the next step. But, theres the big BUT. I can't help feeling a little down, a little teary. My temper has lost its control over the last few days, so has my tears. They seem to listen more to the heart than the head, which is annoying, really. Although I told myself, forced myself to not have even a single ounce of hope, it is indeed easier said than done. Maybe it isn't meant to be. Well, I guess learning to accept failure is the biggest outcome of the whole situation. For a person who once lived in a fairy tale, getting whatever I want, this might be big slap for me to wake up, and face reality. Moving forward, taking the next step, letting the past go.

Oh, I scratched my baby, for the 1st time in my life. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IM THAT CARELESS.
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please dont leave a scarrrr, its not a big scratch, i think. hopefully a little polishing will do the trick. ._.